Coming Soon: The Nookie

Posted: April 8, 2013 in General Topics of Interest

Booksellers announced today the introduction of a smaller version of the Nook, designed just for men.

They call it the Nookie.

The Nookie appeals to men because of its small size, snug carrying case, and attractive packaging. Some women users enjoy the Nookie, but females have been known to abuse the unit with third party styluses, or treat it in a manner not intended by the manufacturer.

Men can play games with the Nookie, such as The Lost World of Onan, and Spank the Monkey.

Owners of an older, less efficient Nookie may trade in their worn out device for a newer Nookie, but restocking charges will apply, and no user history may be downloaded to the newer device. Older users may find it difficult to maintain the Nookie, as the device requires frequent accessories, upgrades, and hours of usage to remain fully functional.

Unfortunately, supplies are limited, so men will have to plead with their Nookie supplier for days before they can have it. Several violent altercations have been recorded when one man has used, or attempted to use, another man’s Nookie.

An additional downside is that some users have found difficulty locating the button that turns on the Nookie, searching deep inside the case instead of the convenient, on-the-top position. An out-of-box failure has been reported in rare instances, where repeated keying of the power button has failed to activate the device.

Other users have experienced intense drowsiness after Nookie sessions, and alcoholic consumption tends to propagate usage.

Men everywhere are eagerly anticipating the coming of the Nookie.

  1. You are an Original!


  2. I’ll buy you the first one out, Scott.


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