It Takes More than Abs

Posted: April 13, 2015 in General Topics of Interest

imagesIRN36X17How come the most popular literature is romance, and the bulk of romance covers feature a half-nekkid cowboy?  (And what’s up with these guys?  You know what happens, you fall off a horse like that?  And sunburn!  Holy pectoral, Kemo Sabe, put a damn shirt on.)  And where’d all the damn HAIR GO?  These guys must bathe in acid-strength depilatory.

Frankly, I’m offended.

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As a manist (opposite of feminist but damn near as ugly) I have to say, this objectification of the male form is insulting.  Men are more than their abs.       katy juradoKaty Jurado, in a famous (to me) quote from High Noon, tells Harvey (Lloyd Bridges), “It takes more than big, broad shoulders to be a man.”  You tell it, sister.

I thought machismo was out of style.  I was told I had to be sensitive.  Sip lattes.  Go to movies with subtitles.  Be Vegan.  Get counseling and become one with my inner navel.  This objectification of males by the quality of their torso confuses me.  Don’t women understand, it takes more than hard abs to make a man?

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A real man controls fire ants.  He cooks bloody red meat over a charcoal fire.  He wears pants with an elastic waistband.  He puts together tricycles and pays for college and has inappropriate gas.  I’d like to see one of these shirtless wonder boys show up at a parent-teacher conference (un)dressed like that.  He’d be arrested by real men in tac gear.

Real men wear tac gear.

Anyway, next time I hear a woman complain about bikini-clad hotties being used a marketing tools, I’m throwing a cowboy romance at them.  Then running.  Because real men know women will kick their ass.

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Comments
  1. ljmcdowall says:

    Reblogged this on LJ McDowall and commented:
    I couldn’t agree more. These guys are like no cattle farmers I know, and I have a family full of them. However, the do tend to look like this:

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ljmcdowall says:

    I had to reblog this. The Romance genre is essentially a form of speculative fiction. And the grass is always greener. The writers of highland romance are nearly exclusively American. For why? Because only American writers can sufficiently suspend their OWN disbelief to convince the reader to suspend THEIRS. If I tried to write ‘McCandy Man’ my mind would be jacked by the reality, right outside my door. For the same reason, I do suspect that many writers of Cowboy Romance novels (I confess I might have read one or three, its just, once they start doing sh*t with the ropes I CAN’T LOOK AWAY) live in a high-rise in Manhattan, and the nearest they’ve ever got to an actual cow is when their boyfriend ‘accidentally’ took them to Outback Stakehouse instead of VeganHut on a dinner date.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kateshaven says:

    Conversely, shouldn’t we be celebrating that men are being as exploited as women?
    Or can’t *be* as exploited since sex isn’t socially harmful for men?
    Oh damn, I just went crosseyed…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. britukus says:

    So It’s OK for men to ogle girls that look fabulous in a bikini but your manhood is threatened by a shirtless cowboy?. I may be off the mark here but I bet it looks nice over a barbecue grill too. As for the highlander girl. Stay away from the ropes lady!

    Like

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