It’s No Contest: Kirk Wins

Posted: September 8, 2016 in General Topics of Interest
So, for the record, Star Trek, the original series, was light years better than TNG or DS9, or Enterprise, or that other one with Captain Janeway.
DS9 didn’t go anywhere, so total fail on the exploring strange new worlds, guys.
TNG was full of wussies, with the exception of Tasha Yar, who kicked ass.
Wussie One, Picard, had to have two co-commanders (one a PSYCHIATRIST) to help him run his ship. (“Ooo, an alien! Quick! I need counseling.) Picard also couldn’t woo a desperate hooker on a planet of desperate hookers. (Kirk would have had Dr. Crusher’s panties off before episode three. Just sayin.)
Counselor Troy. Wuss.
Ferengi. Wusses.
Riker. Wuss with a nice beard.
Westley. King of Wusses.
Warf. Wuss with a steroid problem.
And all you wannabe Trekkies who think Captain Archer rocks…Sorry. Nope. He was on a desperate search for his coconuts the entire too-many seasons that was on. His second in command knocked up the hot Vulcan, so kudos to him, but then his coconuts fell off directly after.
You think can judge the original Trek? Uh-uh. Not unless you lived the original Trek.
Time warp yourself back to 1966. Vietnam, hippies, and equal rights marches are happening outside your door. Kennedy’s dead. (Both of them.) Nikita Kruschev wants to bomb us all dead, dead, dead. Martin Luther King’s dead. TV commercials tell us Winstons taste like cigarettes should. Men go to work and women clean house.
Now. Put on your pj’s. Pull the knob that turns on the TV and twist the clunky dial that changes channels over to NBC. Adjust the rabbit ears.
And go to freaking OUTER SPACE!

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